I found my sister telling her daughter (my niece) that her choice in food is askew. You see, my sister's been pushing my niece into trying certain vegetables. One of my sister's favorites is this awfully bitter gourd that she sautes with ground meat (the quantity of the vegetable surpassing that of the meat.)
My niece is not a fan of bitter tastes. She's just thirteen. A child still who's tastes are of course naturally picky. And to be fair, she had tried the said vegetable cooked by her mom a couple of times (once was not enough because sometimes annoying mother overruled the unwanted flavors.) And she eats other vegetables too so I can't say she's too picky. It's just that some things agree to her tastes more than others. I saw how my niece would eat less than she normally would, not even finishing a quarter of a plate because she did not like the flavor.
She complained over and over but my sister kept pushing her. My niece eats other vegetables as I've mention and I asked my sister to maybe try cooking the vegetables my niece would gladly eat. It is not sacrificing nutritional value because there were others more nutritious than the bitter gourd. My niece had gladly researched the fact that her mom's favorite vegetable lacks in nutrition compared to her choices. Seeing as my niece's argument was getting nowhere, I interjected with a simple question addressed to my sister. "What foods don't YOU like to eat?"
She had a list but focused on this leafy vegetable that she had once seen a worm crawl on when she was younger. Since then she didn't even consider that the cooked version was probably worm-free. But still she was adamant that nothing in the world could make her eat it.
And so I say, "If YOU don't like that vegetable and won't eat it, then you should not make your daughter eat a vegetable that she also does not want to eat."
She didn't even give a pause to think over what I said and just kept spouting nonsense saying that what she wants her daughter to eat should be her choice, like her favorite vegetable.
I couldn't really argue with someone as closed minded as her. And no, I'm not really shaming my sister, only pointing out that her behaviour at that moment wasn't called for. I understand she wants something nutritious for her child. But I also understand that making that child eat something she is not particularly inclined to will affect her diet - mainly with her eating less. And this is a recurring argument in their household.
I have no children of my own yet. And I know spoiling them is wrong. But is it really worth pushing the things you like unto a person who is NOT you. This case does not only apply to my sister and her daughter but with others as well. So long as you do not force people into going crazy over the things you like, they have no right to force their likes unto you. And if you are the type of person who gets mad because your friend does not like the things you do as much as you thinks they should even after they've tried them, think of your friend's weirdest likes that you don't want to try and be glad they are not as pushy as you had been with them.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Monday, October 30, 2017
"What we want, what we need... all the same thing, yes?" - Prince Naveen of Maldonia
Have anyone noticed how as we grow older, there's this shift in the attention we give to the things we want and the things we need.
Take a child who starts from simply crying for the thing it wants. Babies are no exception. (They don't need to be carried all the time but some have tempers easily noted when they are NOT being carried more than they should.) Toddlers boosts level through their want of toys, candies or simply attention. This goes on until the puberty stage.
Adolescence is famous for the indecision over identity. The wants and the needs take part in this too. They want to be a number of things or think of themselves that they are these things. But naturally they understand that they can't. Because simply, they cannot support themselves in their decisions, or they cannot provides themselves the things they need. And so the battle, where ultimately they just try to say that "Life is unfair."
When a person then starts their first job, it is a matter of trying to fulfill their wants, as the after effects of their teenage years. Unfortunately for some, this also coincides with them having to strike it out into the world alone. They fight to keep their salaries 'til the end of the next working day, while fighting the itch to spend that salary on a new gadget that they had "really, really, really," wanted for so long.
The full adult, even without a family finds a recluse over the whole want and need dilemma. They now understand that needs come first. Even without a family of their own yet, they can now easily say that the things they want must move aside for the week's grocery. Although wants will diminish in time, they will of course not disappear entirely.
Happily will a person leave their needs in pursuit of the things they want but of course that will never happen (duh.) Basically, the attention to needs, and how to satisfy them simply shift from our parents who have long since made sure that we were well provided to ourselves who want to be stable in terms of survival.
The charts then rockets with needs accumulating from keeping a family happy. I'm not saying of course that marrying and having kids are wrong. That is the decision of each individual whether or not to make a family. But we should mention the besides having your own needs, there's the need of your spouse from you and the need to make your children happy, supported and in a sense satisfied.
Here mostly end the time of thinking for oneself. You now reach a phase of selflessness to provide for your loved ones. (Though this does not happen to all but theoretically speaking - if yo didn't want mouths to fill, then you would have stayed single.)
This then declines once more to the time when the kids start leaving home and learning to fend for themselves. The time you have for yourself has now increased including the want to do things again.
It's basically a roller coaster ride. There are times when you are up and other time when you are done. It does not matter to me what you decide for yourself. Simply live your life. And the pattern will materialize soon enough.....
...especially when you start contemplating ideas during a shower or bath.
Take a child who starts from simply crying for the thing it wants. Babies are no exception. (They don't need to be carried all the time but some have tempers easily noted when they are NOT being carried more than they should.) Toddlers boosts level through their want of toys, candies or simply attention. This goes on until the puberty stage.
Adolescence is famous for the indecision over identity. The wants and the needs take part in this too. They want to be a number of things or think of themselves that they are these things. But naturally they understand that they can't. Because simply, they cannot support themselves in their decisions, or they cannot provides themselves the things they need. And so the battle, where ultimately they just try to say that "Life is unfair."
When a person then starts their first job, it is a matter of trying to fulfill their wants, as the after effects of their teenage years. Unfortunately for some, this also coincides with them having to strike it out into the world alone. They fight to keep their salaries 'til the end of the next working day, while fighting the itch to spend that salary on a new gadget that they had "really, really, really," wanted for so long.
The full adult, even without a family finds a recluse over the whole want and need dilemma. They now understand that needs come first. Even without a family of their own yet, they can now easily say that the things they want must move aside for the week's grocery. Although wants will diminish in time, they will of course not disappear entirely.
Happily will a person leave their needs in pursuit of the things they want but of course that will never happen (duh.) Basically, the attention to needs, and how to satisfy them simply shift from our parents who have long since made sure that we were well provided to ourselves who want to be stable in terms of survival.
The charts then rockets with needs accumulating from keeping a family happy. I'm not saying of course that marrying and having kids are wrong. That is the decision of each individual whether or not to make a family. But we should mention the besides having your own needs, there's the need of your spouse from you and the need to make your children happy, supported and in a sense satisfied.
Here mostly end the time of thinking for oneself. You now reach a phase of selflessness to provide for your loved ones. (Though this does not happen to all but theoretically speaking - if yo didn't want mouths to fill, then you would have stayed single.)
This then declines once more to the time when the kids start leaving home and learning to fend for themselves. The time you have for yourself has now increased including the want to do things again.
It's basically a roller coaster ride. There are times when you are up and other time when you are done. It does not matter to me what you decide for yourself. Simply live your life. And the pattern will materialize soon enough.....
...especially when you start contemplating ideas during a shower or bath.
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
A is for Apple, B is for Ball
I'm doing a part time teaching job every weekend for a local community college. To mention that they are a rowdy crowd is an understatement. I had to put my feet (yes feet, because just a foot is not enough) down a number of times. They looked quite penitent during the rest of the class, but would revert instantly once they think I've loosened my gauntlet.
I didn't expect much with them, I know my subject is hard. This have this universal hatred of math that even simple fractions had them stumped. It was taught in grade school and high scholl, for goodness' sake.
But it's an eye opener for a lot of things.
First. You can't be too nice. In their eyes, then can easily overpower you.
Second. You can't be too tough. They can rebel, which is worse. No matter how strong you are, it's not worth the trouble.
Third. Professors may have this ideal way of teaching, but it is always easier said than done. You have to throw your ideals under the bed and assess the situation first. You may look into them from time to time but you can't rely on them. The most flexible teacher will survive.
Fourth. You cannot please everybody. It is stressed that a teacher must assess individual characters to be able to form the best possible way of teaching them. But again, a classroom is full of individual, heck, I have 143 students to talk to in the space of 9 hours during a single day. Only those who can participate can be seen. And a lot do not want to participate.
I guess it's tiresome. This is my first teaching job after all. What I experienced as a student was greatly different. Then again, my class was not as rowdy as them. But to be fair, I had met classes with tougher students that my current ones (one boy actually peed through a window because he was too lazy to go to the bathroom just outside their classroom). So taking the stress aside, all I can say is that i'm learning too so it's not that bad of a deal.
I didn't expect much with them, I know my subject is hard. This have this universal hatred of math that even simple fractions had them stumped. It was taught in grade school and high scholl, for goodness' sake.
But it's an eye opener for a lot of things.
First. You can't be too nice. In their eyes, then can easily overpower you.
Second. You can't be too tough. They can rebel, which is worse. No matter how strong you are, it's not worth the trouble.
Third. Professors may have this ideal way of teaching, but it is always easier said than done. You have to throw your ideals under the bed and assess the situation first. You may look into them from time to time but you can't rely on them. The most flexible teacher will survive.
Fourth. You cannot please everybody. It is stressed that a teacher must assess individual characters to be able to form the best possible way of teaching them. But again, a classroom is full of individual, heck, I have 143 students to talk to in the space of 9 hours during a single day. Only those who can participate can be seen. And a lot do not want to participate.
I guess it's tiresome. This is my first teaching job after all. What I experienced as a student was greatly different. Then again, my class was not as rowdy as them. But to be fair, I had met classes with tougher students that my current ones (one boy actually peed through a window because he was too lazy to go to the bathroom just outside their classroom). So taking the stress aside, all I can say is that i'm learning too so it's not that bad of a deal.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
I haven't touched blogger for years but not because of limited access. The case seemed that I lost my creative juices even for writing a blog. I drew and wrote poetry before I became a "professional." But I missed my old me. I needed to study to get a degree, I needed that degree to get a job and I needed the job to get some money. All throughout the process I belived that after being financially stable I could get back to my old ways and let the muses back in.
Nope. Didn't happen. Working basically sucked the life out of me. And I'm left deflated at the end of the day with only enough energy to eat my dinner then get ready for bed.
I might have called myself successful by getting my license then landing a respectable job. But really what is success? Is it to haul yourself out of bed everyday, walking down a stressful street, traffic, then finding an office stuffed full of work. It's not that I'm lazy or anything or that I can count on my parents for financial support. (I am not from a rich family.) It's just that I find myself wondering if that life was meant for me. Is the stress I'm dealing worth the salary I was given?
Before we graduated we were told that the easiest place for a certified accountant would be an auditing firm. They were right, the interview ended with me signing an employment contract. But we were also warned that we would be facing nights of no sleep. We thought, "we're used to sleepless nights studying, we can handle it." Living the high life, NOT. We did sleep less than 2 hours during the peak audit season and I had my first breakdown. Under piles of papers, I forgot to take my lunch, decided I didn't feel hungry then kept on working. Very bad idea. My knees were shaking. I went home early then was barely able to reach my bed. Fatigue and empty stomach equals K.O.
I've argued with myself if I should resign or not. It meant I would be unemployed, but at least no more possible breakdowns. (To be honest the firm was great, wonderful benefits and all, I was just personnally unfit for the job.) Also knowing how people talk, going back to my mom would mean I was a failure. Am I a failure for trying to balance my life, setting it back into one where the pace won't leave skidmarks?
Life doesn't go as planned as always. People are pulled by the social current where we as individuals judge ourselves by what others would think not understanding that they won't know what we really need. Only we ourselves could name that. Afraid of being different, afraid to be shunned. But living under rocks is not a life. It's cramped. I want to do what I want to do. Why let them tell me I can't?
(Note: The law can still tell you you can't.)
Nope. Didn't happen. Working basically sucked the life out of me. And I'm left deflated at the end of the day with only enough energy to eat my dinner then get ready for bed.
I might have called myself successful by getting my license then landing a respectable job. But really what is success? Is it to haul yourself out of bed everyday, walking down a stressful street, traffic, then finding an office stuffed full of work. It's not that I'm lazy or anything or that I can count on my parents for financial support. (I am not from a rich family.) It's just that I find myself wondering if that life was meant for me. Is the stress I'm dealing worth the salary I was given?
Before we graduated we were told that the easiest place for a certified accountant would be an auditing firm. They were right, the interview ended with me signing an employment contract. But we were also warned that we would be facing nights of no sleep. We thought, "we're used to sleepless nights studying, we can handle it." Living the high life, NOT. We did sleep less than 2 hours during the peak audit season and I had my first breakdown. Under piles of papers, I forgot to take my lunch, decided I didn't feel hungry then kept on working. Very bad idea. My knees were shaking. I went home early then was barely able to reach my bed. Fatigue and empty stomach equals K.O.
I've argued with myself if I should resign or not. It meant I would be unemployed, but at least no more possible breakdowns. (To be honest the firm was great, wonderful benefits and all, I was just personnally unfit for the job.) Also knowing how people talk, going back to my mom would mean I was a failure. Am I a failure for trying to balance my life, setting it back into one where the pace won't leave skidmarks?
Life doesn't go as planned as always. People are pulled by the social current where we as individuals judge ourselves by what others would think not understanding that they won't know what we really need. Only we ourselves could name that. Afraid of being different, afraid to be shunned. But living under rocks is not a life. It's cramped. I want to do what I want to do. Why let them tell me I can't?
(Note: The law can still tell you you can't.)
True happiness does not lie with money. That's what the tv says anyway, but then again, can you actually live in this world without those greens?
Imagine wanting to travel the world, to see the sights. Besides the transportation fares, you'd need the accommodations for when you go out of town not to mention buying new clothes cause let's face it, no one exactly owns the exact type of clothing for every country.
To draw or paint, you'd need the supplies.
Baking requires ingredients, so does cooking.
Simply living in a house gives you bills. Water, electricity, (wifi...). The (basic) needs.
I've spent running after money. And it made me lose the time for all the things i love to do. I've stressed, became suicidal, and generally just wished for time to stop. I quit my old job then to a month to rest but it was easy that my resources were dwindling fast. I went back to my hobbies but my paints were dried up, my pencils were thrown away, and I simply used the back of old calendars to sketch on. Being unemployed had its own stress. So I tries looking for other work, again my life dissolves into the mundane.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sleep...
I've read somewhere that a person can survive for about 14 days with no sleep. The side effects they say include hallucinations and weakened immune system. (I'd like to add that you'd be suffering severe drowsiness during those days.)
To those who want to try, it's not really worth it. I made it through 23 and a half hours with no sleep. It wasn't out of curiosity of course. I just had a lot to do and a deadline I needed to make. I was tired and took a nap at about 9:30 pm. (Like I said, I wasn't planning on actually deriving myself of sleep so I gave my body a little breather.) I woke at 12:01 am, according to my clock. I jumped in front of my laptop then thinking I already wasted hours.
I typed and typed and typed, occasionally peeking at my facebook account - I needed a little distraction to keep me awake. Before I knew it, it was 3:00 and then it was 6:00. In between those times I only drank 2 cups of coffee. So I washed up, still thinking of the things I needed to do then went to school.
If you think you can pull off a sleepless night, forget it. Being a girl especially, I wasn't exactly thrilled when asked about my haggard appearance. I pushed the comments away focusing on what was at hand. I studied, I typed and basically tried not to fall senseless while working. The day passed, exams done, but our project still unfinished.
There were three of us working on that one project I spent my sleeping hours on. It was frustrating that they did not do their agreed share and I went through the day like a zombie.
I guess it would have been better if I had slept. Our class ended at 8:00 in the evening and I went home arriving at 10:30. I wanted to eat but couldn't, I was upset. I went to bed at 11:30. Only then did I realized that I hadn't slept for almost a whole day. I thought of staying up longer, but then I told myself, "what's the use, I mean I'm already in bed and comfortable, might as well close my eyes."
I've taken my bed fore granted. I left it alone too much.The rest you get after a long day's work is priceless. It doesn't really matter if you had unfinished business, all that matters is that you were able to breath.
To those who want to try, it's not really worth it. I made it through 23 and a half hours with no sleep. It wasn't out of curiosity of course. I just had a lot to do and a deadline I needed to make. I was tired and took a nap at about 9:30 pm. (Like I said, I wasn't planning on actually deriving myself of sleep so I gave my body a little breather.) I woke at 12:01 am, according to my clock. I jumped in front of my laptop then thinking I already wasted hours.
I typed and typed and typed, occasionally peeking at my facebook account - I needed a little distraction to keep me awake. Before I knew it, it was 3:00 and then it was 6:00. In between those times I only drank 2 cups of coffee. So I washed up, still thinking of the things I needed to do then went to school.
If you think you can pull off a sleepless night, forget it. Being a girl especially, I wasn't exactly thrilled when asked about my haggard appearance. I pushed the comments away focusing on what was at hand. I studied, I typed and basically tried not to fall senseless while working. The day passed, exams done, but our project still unfinished.
There were three of us working on that one project I spent my sleeping hours on. It was frustrating that they did not do their agreed share and I went through the day like a zombie.
I guess it would have been better if I had slept. Our class ended at 8:00 in the evening and I went home arriving at 10:30. I wanted to eat but couldn't, I was upset. I went to bed at 11:30. Only then did I realized that I hadn't slept for almost a whole day. I thought of staying up longer, but then I told myself, "what's the use, I mean I'm already in bed and comfortable, might as well close my eyes."
I've taken my bed fore granted. I left it alone too much.The rest you get after a long day's work is priceless. It doesn't really matter if you had unfinished business, all that matters is that you were able to breath.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Sounds just about right. Then again...
To make lemonade you'll also need:
- sugar
- water
- pitcher
- knife
- juicer
- drinking glass (for the drinking part, of course)
The process includes:
- washing
- slicing
- squeezing
- mixing
- stirring
- pouring
- drinking (duh, ;))
Imagine preparing lemonade. At some point you'll be wiping sweat from your brows and after all the things you have to do has been done, you'll let out a nice "whooo" of relief that the work is over.
Think about it. Although you have the lemons, you'll need to work with them, add a few things, maybe remove a few things (for example: those pesky little seeds if you don't want to swallow any and find trees growing in your tummy), and basically use some elbow grease to be able to drink any lemonade.
So when life hands you ANYTHING, be ready to ACT. Otherwise, your inability/unwillingness to move won't get you anywhere. Besides, drinks are more welcome and satisfying after tiresome workouts. (Cheers!) :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)